Day 11 AM – Kym Marsh: Like or Loathe?

26 Feb

“Exercise is at 11”

I hear yelled across the wing.

Its 8am right now, I get the distinct feeling I’m going to remain banged up for a few hours. I have  a letter I’d like to post, but it needs to land in the box before 9am’s daily collection. There is no way for me to be able to get last night’s etchings posted, if we aren’t even able to submit our mail before cut-off. Every letter sent out goes through a censor system to ensure nothing threatening or contraband is discussed. A day late posting in prison means your writing becomes old news. 1st class mail can take up to a week to get out sometimes.

I spend the morning sitting through Kym Marsh the reality music wannabe’s verbal diarrhoea. She’s pebble dashed across ITV’s morning shows. Hearing these quasi celebrities eek every bit of airtime out of their pointless, self obsessed existence, with stories of personal trauma, probably won’t wash well with the 80,000 audience in HMP UK or their families. I can only imagine the type of  person who would buy an “auto”-biography* from the woman who it alleged dumped her last husband due to his faltering career. Certainly no one here. Besides, there are a lot of ‘Eastenders’ fans in this place with a soft spot for Jack Ryder.

*: Did you really write it yourself Kym?

After an hour of almost traumas being discussed, I stretch this blanket disapproving audience to much of the visible universe. Although I can’t rule out the existence of some distant civilised rocky planet that has a God-like support for Hear’Say. Scrap that, they can’t be civilised with those beliefs. Savages.

Sorry Kym, I don’t care, I could find infinitely more tragedy and drama in a Time’s Obituary section. Ironically somewhere I’m sure I saw Hear’Say and component parts listed near a decade ago. I respect your right to an opinion however and I have given you mine.

Lunch comes and I notice my prison diary has been filled with writing that has little bearing on incarcerated life – unless of course you consider that the scribblings of a mad man and his meandering thoughts, are in fact very much par for the course for prison; in that case, I’ve stayed on topic.




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