6 Mar

There’s a large turnover of cell inhabitants today, the population of E-Wing has come down a bit. We spend the time busying ourselves with cell cleaning. There’s a bit of treasure in them to be had too. Unused welcome packs/first night provisions and extra pillows. Anything we keep, gets well sanitised and sprayed with an anti-bacterial spray George’s pilfered. This man has sticky fingers when it comes to supplies, he’s not a thief, don’t misinterpret that, he just makes sure he doesn’t have to beg or borrow for the right equipment simply to do his prison job.

The nick is absolutely stifling today. It’s so hot, I sack off the exercise yard, which is like walking around a reflective dish. Instead I spend some time in the laundry room – a flawed logic, but at least I get clean clothes for my troubles.

Back in the oven for a cell, there is the usual annual ‘Women grunting at Wimbledon’ debate banging on. Some fella reckons he turns the sound off; really?! Seriously man, pull yourself together. Nev raises the exciting prospect of more food being on offer this lunch time with a quiet Wing. Marvellous!

E-Wing houses 150 inmates at capacity, currently that figure is closer to 70. With friends working on the hot-plate, fingers crossed it will be a free for all. It’s funny how you adjust your aims in life.


As above. I visit the landing officer and ask him to check my categorisation status. The one finger typing only delays the inevitable, I know what I’m likely to see and it’s probably not great news……

“The system’s a bit slow” He says

“I know, I can see that” I smirk back at him.

He doesn’t spot my dig or he is choosing to dismiss my sardonic retort with an air of reasoned impassiveness.

No, he system’s definitely slow.

The next laugh, the last laugh, had by he. (He didn’t laugh but I wouldn’t have resented him for doing so. I deserve no less for my cheek.)

Not an effing sausage.

How long does it take to fill in a “Monkey See, Monkey Do form”? More than 15 days obviously. 😦

I’m told they are waiting for a list of my previous convictions from the Police, as this can affect where you can and can’t go.

WHAT PREVIOUS? My protestations fall on deaf ears. I’m no nearer to getting out of here.

Still, at least it’s another day down.


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