Sports, Football and Mopping ‘Gangsta Style’

10 May

The football season has begun!

FINALLY! It means for a few hours and the odd day every week, time will whiz by that bit faster as I listen to Talksport (Featuring Chris Davies – Thoroughly Nice Bloke Sports Journalist – see later blogs) and Radio 5 Live. I can listen and tear my hair out as Spurs flatter to deceive once more.

The head PE Screw arrives back at Ford off a period of leave: Kevin Allcorn. He takes the time today to pop by our billet and other’s presumably on an otherwise eventless weekend day to introduce himself and see how we are doing.

I am shocked. This gesture of ‘Giving a damn’ means a lot. This is a man earning his keep and showing his value, the type of person to get on with his job without moaning about conditions. It’s a strange irony and topical with talk of public sector strikes; that those who put in the least effort are often the most vocal about dissatisfaction. The response they give is that a better working environment would mean less gripes but having employed the workshy before (My mistake), the reality is they have consistently higher standards in their expectations than their actual output. Back to this screw Kevin; he spots my shock at seeing his head poke around our door and disarms us first by telling us he isn’t coming by to nick anyone.  Thank god, he might have found that mobile hidden in my rectum.

There is no mobile hidden in my rectum. FYI

Anyway, he is a decent fella and this little investment of his time in us does not go unappreciated.

Match of the Day airs in the evening. Hearing that eponymous theme tune bring a smile to my face. I’ve purposely ignored the final results today so watching the show, it is a compendium of for me, almost live mini matches. I’m tickled to hear that Blackburn Rover’s have a player by the name of Goodwillie. It presents a range of amusing sentences. For example:

“When it comes to picking attackers, Blackburn’s manager is likely to have Goodwillie on his lips.”

Priceless and for football fans shall join the dictionary of football funnies alongside:

The Cross-Come-Shot;

Pele admires Butt; and

being a fan of  Jimmy Bullard’s Crack

I could go on all night with juvenile comedy. I’ll cease for fear of alienating my more high brow blog readers.

I speak to R on the phone and am pleased to hear she will be back home in 3 months. I can’t wait to hold her in my arms. I’m visited by my good buddy Mel on the Sunday, where she fills me up with sugary treats and feeds me titbits of gossip of the goings on in her life. I miss just hanging out with my little pal as I have done frequently for the last decade.

She has spoken to my folks and lets me know they can come down next week. Another day of snacking beckons.

Gangsta Mopping? I mopped my cell and sweep it through as we do each week for a bit of self-pride. But mopping in prison, now that’s Gangsta.




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